This was the slogan an advertising friend suggested when I was marketing myself as a personal trainer over a decade ago. At the time, I was tickled pink by the proposition’s cheeky coyness, its self-assured solicitation.
But after the passage of Prop 8 in California this week, as well as similar anti-gay measures in Arizona and Florida, I imagine many a gay and lesbian trainer are muttering something like these words, but in dead earnest, as they count reps and spot dumbbells for those clients who either loudly (or silently) supported these hateful propositions or looked on indifferently at their passage— not to mention those media moguls who, under the guise of “covering all sides of the issue,” gave ample air-time to the ravings of any bigot with a big checkbook. I have no doubt that these clients would be shocked to discover the hostile feelings their trainers secretly harbor towards them, one of privilege’s perks being the delusion that one is universally loved by the disenfranchised.
Fortunately, there are still plenty of humane heterosexuals we at Further Fitness would be happy and honored to train. Comedian, and one-time college soccer player, Jon Stewart is first among them. On the night before the election, Stewart bent it like Beckham on behalf of gay rights with this brilliant bit:
So, to all the Sonja Eddings Browns and Marvin Perkins out there, remember these words the next time you need your gay (or gay-friendly) trainer to lift that impossibly heavy, bone-crushing weight off your caving chest:
YOUR GAY TRAINER HATES YOU!
[Update: “if you like your injustice tinged with a little irony,” check out this from last night’s The Daily Show.]
Allen Durgin is the editor of Blog Further. He invites Jon Stewart to train with Further Fitness (free of charge) anytime he wants. Seriously, Jon: give us a call. We’ll have you doing bicycle kicks again in no time.
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July 28th, 2010 at 4:08 am
horse trainers
Keep working ,great job!